What are we drinking for Christmas?
A demonstration at Letná in Prague. The first thing that comes to mind – they want to make beer more expensive again. And indeed, VAT on beer is going up to 21% across the board.
Until now, I thought the most complicated tax product was Pillar 2: a few hundred pages of text on how to collect 15% tax on everything. But now I have another close favourite – the change in Czech VAT rates. Back to beer. Brewers are sad; VAT is going up to 21%. Beer non-drinkers tax technicians are happy because it's going to be so much simpler with one rate for everything. Of the sad beer drinkers, the ones who are kind of sad are those who drink non-alcoholic beer in an establishment without facilities – they're getting it for 15% these days. The really sad ones are the ones who go to a taproom with facilities, but don't order a pitcher to go. They're getting it for 10% today. As well as those who drink soft drinks in the same establishment – whether on tap or not. I'm going to miss the variability.
In fact, almost all drinks will now be at the 21% rate. Almost. So, I'm wondering if I could put more milk in my coffee at a restaurant and get it to 12%. But the legislature has it figured out, and specifically says neither macchiato nor latte nor flat white, I've looked it up, and no matter how much milk you have in there, it's still coffee at 21%. A milkshake with some strawberry ice cream is 12%, but if I put a dash of coffee in it, it's a 21% milkshake. So I guess I'll just order the coffee and the milk separately and mix it myself. If it’s the right milk, that is, because there’s no such thing as “milk”. For example, the 12% should also be for plant milks, i.e. soya, coconut, rice, oat etc. That seems consistent. Except that, for example, an almond is technically not a botanical nut and almond milk could theoretically fall into the 21% range (though the explanatory memorandum proudly keeps it at 12%).
Perhaps it might be easier with plain water. All 21% water, great. Only tap could be 12%. But I mustn't flavour it with anything. Added juice, syrup, fruit - bad, back to 21%. Here's a quick digression – it's different than milk, I can flavour it six ways from Sunday, and it's still 12% (except for the coffee flavouring). I don't mind decorations in tap water, like mint leaves, that's still 12%. But I have to make sure they don't crush too many leaves in and it becomes flavoured all of a sudden; that would make it 21% again. And I don't know if a slice of lemon can be purely decorative if I can taste it.
I give up. I'm going to go turn on the tap at home. Nice 12% VAT. And that'll be even for small minicipalities with less than 50 customers, which today have it at 15%, as if it were bottled. I'm sure the 12% will be for cold water, but what if the cold water makes my teeth chatter and I need to swirl some warm water in? Warm water may not be 12%. It will only be at this rate if supplied through a service water pipe or a water main that’s structurally connected by a mixer tap to a potable water supply pipe. So now I don't quite know – I'm off to the developer to ask if he fitted the right battery for my mixer all those years ago.
If those rates are starting to make your blood pressure rise, I recommend getting regular blood pressure readings. If you're going to buy a blood pressure monitor before Christmas, make sure it's the type that's "typically for personal use only". That's the only way you'll get it at a reduced rate. Any other type would be at the basic rate. If you're going to get one after the New Year, there's a device "for measuring...the pressure... of liquids... which is a medical device under the Medical Devices Regulations". Although it fits my blood pressure gauge exactly, it does not have to be there.
Anyway, tax consultancy was (if we don’t look at the period before EU accession), is and will be at the basic rate. We’ll be glad if you keep us in your good graces and we wish you a Merry Christmas.
